How to Repair a Relationship After an Affair

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, national surveys show that 25% of men and 15% of women have cheated on their partners. If affairs without intercourse are included in the data, the numbers will rise to around 20%.

Keeping one’s marriage intact after an incident of cheating can be challenging. You and your partner face a long road ahead, but as long as both of you are willing to persevere, there may be no need for the cherished bond to end. Here is a brief introduction to rebuilding the relationship.

Seek professional help

If you and your partner are having trouble with sorting things out on your own, you may want to undergo marriage counseling. If you want to give this option a try, look for therapists in nearby areas such as South Jordan. Marriage counseling is a type of psychotherapy. It usually involves both partners, but in case your partner refuses to seek help, you may also go to therapy alone. This approach may be more difficult, but it can still help by learning about aspects of your behavior that affect the marriage.

Some couples require only a couple of sessions, while other couples may need to go through it for months. It depends on the gravity of the situation. Be ready for communication exercises. The counselor may ask you to talk to each other face to face for a little while every day. For it to work, find a place where you will not be disturbed and try to talk about light topics. Aside from this, the counselor may also give some suggested readings.

Ghost the lover

If you are the offending party, there are a couple of questions to ask yourself. Do you truly want to stay in this relationship? If the answer is a resounding yes, are you willing to do the actions that this decision entails? Painful as it may be, you need to end the affair. This does not just mean cutting off the romantic ties. You also need to go on complete radio silence. Doing this is incredibly important for healing to begin, especially on your partner’s end.

Once you have decided to work things out with your partner, it would be best to stop seeing and communicating with your lover soon after that. Delaying could make it harder to untangle yourself from the clutches of a mistake you have made.

If you feel that you may get the urge to contact them again, if you get a glimpse of their number, then it is time to purge your phone. Get rid of their photos, contact details, and previous messages. If possible, consider deleting or blocking the number of common acquaintances as well, in case you get tempted to re-establish a connection with the lover through them. If you had an affair with an officemate, limit interactions to business matters. If you feel that it could still lead to a tricky situation, it may be time to get a new job.

Figure out why it happened

Conduct an honest evaluation of the relationship and the instances that led to cheating. Both of you will need to address what went wrong. Willingness to confront relationship issues is crucial to the processing of mutual grief.

For instance, have there been barriers in communication before the affair? Or perhaps there has been a significant lack of intimacy for a long time. If this is the case, take a look at possible causes. Maybe one or both of you have been struggling with body image issues, or maybe it has something to do with a lack of emotional connection.

Another potential reason is the unequal distribution of parental and household responsibilities. This could be related to opposing views on gender roles, which could happen if one clings to the traditional notion while the other tends to be progressive. Other possible reasons include problems with gambling or drug addiction and constant bickering.

Addressing the root cause and taking steps to resolve relationship problems is essential to overcoming the incidence of cheating. While talking about it is important, be careful not to overdo it. Indulging in positive distractions such as taking a walk and watching a show together can be beneficial to the future of your relationship.